Are You Afraid Of Failure or Rejection
So anxious Stepping on to the box, I could feel my heart rate going up. I was definitely nervous. Since starting to learn to the game, this was the first time I was going to be playing with friends who were clearly better golfers than me. I surely didn’t want it to be a disappointing round – but in golf, that happens way too often. I was more concerned that I might be considered a hopeless player. To pre-tempt such an outcome, I instinctively declared that I was a complete novice; and started how I had slept poorly the previous night.
turn your failure into success |
I was more worried about rejection (my friend thinking
poorly of me) than failure (not playing well).most of us have fears of failure.
That’s the reason for our discomfort with taking risks. That’s why we are
anxious about being passed over for promotion or our business not taking off or
our children’s beneath this fear of failure, many of us are actually afraid of
rejection – the dreadful feeling that our peers may perceive us poorly. Humans
are social animals and we derive a considerable part of our self-identity from
our perception of hoe other thinks of us. Many of us base our self-worth on our
apparent relative status within our social circle.
Moreover, activities that enhance our relative status act as
a mood booster. Activities that decrease that status, or even merely create the
fear of a decline, result in release of stress hormones. The risk of social
rejection can be paralyzing for us. As a result, we fail to pursue our passions
and bring our true self to the world. We also continue to conform to our social
circle’s expectations, even though we may suffer within.
The antidote
Happier people have healthy senses of self-worth and prefer
living by their own standards. They are comfortable in their own skin and are
happy being themselves. Not that they are over-confident or have an excessive
self-belief; they are more self-aware and are at peace with their strengths and
weaknesses.
They are conscious of their personal values and commit to
living by them; they are mindful of their unique gifts and appreciate the need
to express them fully; they have high self-respect and recognize that only when
they respect themselves will they earn others’ respect too.
Inner yardsticks
Above all, they prefer to evaluate them life’s journey by
self-imposed inner yardsticks rather by comparing themselves with others. They
don’t look to others for approval and hence are less impacted by the fear of rejection.
To build higher self-worth, you need to engage in some
serious self-work.
Learn to accept and love yourself for who are, work with
positive affirmations to train your anxious self to feel more completely and
whole, and consider meditation to build inner strength.
I was reminded on that golf outing, that self-work is
journey. It’s been a long while since that round and I don’t feel nervous on
the first tee any more. But then I wish could say that even when I am not
paying partners may perceive me never cross my mind!
If you really like and helpful so comment you experience
guys.
really hellful
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